I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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