What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize