so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
