Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize