well you can't waste a boner
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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