So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
