Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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