The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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