He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
