he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
