She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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