are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize