Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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