i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
