don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
