He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
