Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
