Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize