Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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