Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
