Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
