You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
