I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
