This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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