How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
