the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
