You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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