Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she was so not down for the gang bang
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
