i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize