I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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