i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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