I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
