so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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