You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
