well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
