It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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