As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
