What did we do last night that was yellow?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
