he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
