I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
