So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
zippers are such a cool invention
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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