Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
