I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
