So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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