I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
