I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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