Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
