Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
