This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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