So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
