I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
