And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
