stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
