don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
