Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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