i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize