Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
