dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
