I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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