My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
