She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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